Guide to Vehicular Sex
It seems like it's a rite of passage-- doing it in a car... Well, whether or not
you've taken part in this act, you know that a car isn't the most comfortable
place to get down. Now while we don't condone any of this, we've come up with a
guide to sex in cars-- which ones are the best and which ones to just stay out
of...
Any compactAdvantages: Smaller size encourages
greater intimacy and vehicle is easier to push if you run out of
gas.
Disadvantages: Minimal legroom: difficult to drive with jeans
around ankles.
ChevroletAdvantages: Convenient display
indicates when you're out of gas.
Disadvantages: Wierd electrical
system: writhing during orgasm may activate flashers.
Chrysler
ImperialAdvantages: Anti-lock brakes prevent skidding during
extra special orgasm. Spacious seats invite lust.
Disadvantages:
Inconvient shift lever almost guarantees headache in awkward positions (any
position in which partner's head makes contact with the gas pedal).
Ford TaurusAdvantages: Spacious trunk permits "kinky"
sex, especially if lover deosn't have a spare tire.
Disadvantages:
Limited warranty: doesn't cover rust and/or wet spots.
JaguarAdvantages: Sumptuous leather seats lend added
dimension of sensuality. Erotic design of car considered form of foreplay. Hood
ornament a sex symbol.
Disadvantages: Between seat shift console may
cause over-ardent male to experience his first hernia. Also difficult to find
parts.
JeepAdvantages: Four-wheel drive provides
offroad capabilities and greater privacy. Possible to make love in the middle of
a stream.
Disadvantages: Unless lover on top wears a copper derby,
tight suspension may cause head injuries when going over rough roads.
Mercedes-BenzAdvantages: Titlt steering wheel enables
both partners to fit. 100-way adjustable seat permits nearly unlimited
positions.
Disadvantages: Too much safety: moan-activated airbag may
open and cause coitus interruptus.
Oldsmobile
CutlassAdvantages: Excellent cruise control permits nonstop
lovemaking, even while going thru toll booths. Strategic placement of windshield
washer control makes it easy to rinse each other off after fervent
passion.
Disadvantages: Automatic safety belts may offend those not
into bondage.
SAABAdvantages: Excellent handling: safe
to enjoy foreplay and intercourse while negotiating a hairpin
S-curve.
Disadvantages: Hair-trigger horn may sound when lovers engage
in classic "front seat" position: his feet on floor, her feet on steering wheel.
Guide to Birthstones
It's your sweetheart's birthday and you want to buy them a piece of jewelry. No
idea what their birthstone is? Well, you've come to the right place. Look below
to find the matching birthday and birthstone.
| January |
Garnet |
 |
| February |
Amethyst |
 |
| March |
Aquamarine |
 |
| April |
Diamond |
 |
| May |
Emerald |
 |
| June |
Pearl,
Moonstone |
 |
| July |
Ruby |
 |
| August |
Peridot |
 |
| September |
Sapphire |
 |
| October |
Opal,
Tourmaline |
 |
| November |
Yellow Topaz,
Citrine |
 |
| December |
Blue Topaz,
Turquoise |
 |
Want to go the extra mile? Birthstones can also be matched by zodiac
signs. So if your stone doesn't match your personality or tastes, look for one
based on astrology.
Aquarius
(Jan. 20-Feb.
18) |
Garnet |
|
Pisces
(Feb. 19-Mar.
20) |
Amethyst |
|
Aries
(Mar. 21-Apr.
19 |
Bloodstone |
 |
Taurus
(Apr. 20-May
20) |
Sapphire |
|
Gemini
(May 21-June
20) |
Agate |
 |
Cancer
(June 21-July
22) |
Emerald |
|
Leo
(July 23-Aug.
22) |
Onyx |
 |
Virgo
(Aug. 23-Sep.
22) |
Carnelian |
 |
Libra
(Sep. 23-Oct.
22) |
Peridot |
|
Scorpio
(Oct. 23-Nov.
21) |
Topaz |
|
Sagittarius
(Nov.
22-Dec. 21) |
Sapphire |
|
Capricorn
(Dec. 22-Jan.
19) |
Ruby |
|
